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Thank you for this life. Thank you for this love that I get to experience everyday. Thank you for the suffering. Thank you for the longing. Thank you for the helping hands. Thank you for the support. Thank you for my heart. Thank you for my body. Thank you for the joy. Thank you for the blood. Thank you for the air. Thank you for all the breaths, and all the breaths to come. Thank you for my limitations. Thank you for my teachers. Thank you for fire and warmth. Thank you for fish. Thank you for food. Thank you for the stars. Thank you for all the unknown. Thank you for the separateness. Thank you for the dance. Thank you for music. Thank you for animals. Thank you for trees. Thank you for the ground. Thank you for the water that surrounds me. Thank you for my ego. Thank you for my mind. Thank you for my eyes. Thank you for the light. Thank you for the darkness. Thank you for the essence. Thank you for the mystery. Thank you for the richness. Thank you for the sun. Thank you for art. Thank you for people. Thank you for those who are courageous and willing to put their hearts out there. Thank you for those who truly support, by holding space. Thank you for the times I’ve fell. Thank you for my death. Thank you for my birth. Thank you for all the landscapes, within and without.
From this moment on, I will deeply recognize, from my most vulnerable spaces, the impermanence of life. And that this life was gifted to me. And it is my duty to respect it, and hold space and care for myself, and all that surrounds me. I will only participate in pure exchange, and never take that which has not be given to me. I will be a custodian to my own heart, and the hearts of those I love. I will be a custodian to this earth. To this life. I am grateful for every breath, every tear, every moment of joy that breaks down the barriers even more and allows me to connect with love and truth. Full, pure space.
I am sorry for the moments I was not respectful, accepting, present.
Tonight, I look out at the night sky, at the big dipper, and even though I am filled with a deep longing, and sadness, beneath that I can feel a love, a contentment emerging. By accepting it, I accept life, fully, as it is.
I am truly grateful. I am truly thankful. I am ready to love myself, love life, love all. I am ready to receive.
Teach me how. Gently, please.
I’ve been thinking back to a particular time in my life. A time when I intentionally began this spiritual journey I am still, and will always be, undertaking. A time when I began focusing on writing.
I lovingly refer to that time as Cape Breton.
During the summer of 2005 I lived alone in a small cottage on the Bras D’Ors Lake. My intention while I was was to focus on the basics of life. Shelter. Water. Food. Meaning.
The experience changed me. I watched the sun rise and set everyday. I watched the fish jump out of the water. I saw bears. I had bats living under my roof. Every meal I cooked with care. Simply, I took time to live.
As I began to resonate with my natural surroundings, I felt something deep emerge within me. A stronger knowing of myself and my place in the world.
On my last day there, I wrote this about the experience:
The point where the shore fades into the horizon is where all the makers of dawn sit, smiling. As fast as an electron changing position or a heart changing direction, the light breaks and wraps itself around you, replacing the fog that burned away. It’s the enemy to a soulless regiment, the compliment to a heart worth finding.
No one’s there with their criminal lines, holding secrets in their teeth, biting down as dirt blows in their eyes. No one’s there, just you waking up, singing for the sake of singing, dancing for the sake of dancing. All your born days are there, where the Earth curves.
This marks the first post on my new website. I write it with the intention of sharing more of my journey through art, writing, and music. Thank you for joining me.